The answer began on day last week.  I was getting anxious and depressed because I felt like we weren’t feeling any direction for our journey.  I fell asleep one night praying, begging, that God would tell us where to go.  We didn’t care where; we would definitely go if He would just tell us where.  The next morning, I awoke with a single word running through my mind very loudly, very clearly: BRAZIL, BRAZIL, BRAZIL…

This had happened to me once before in answer to earnest prayer, but, again, that’s another post for another day.  Honestly, I kind of thought to myself that God wouldn’t make it that easy for me and I had probably just read something about Brazil and it was just a subconscious response.  Brazil wasn’t even on our radar; it wasn’t one of the places we had found possible opportunities.  So I dismissed the notion that God may be calling us to go to Brazil, and didn’t even mention it to Shmoopy.

Then this morning as we were in the car on our way to San Antonio for a house church conference, I was praying again, begging God to just tell us where He wanted us to go, and we would go.  All of a sudden, a picture flashed in my mind for the briefest of seconds.  However, brief, though, it was a very clear picture.  It was the huge statue of Jesus that overlooks Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.  My thoughts were:

1. That was weird.

2. Hey, that thing’s in Brazil and I had Brazil on my mind the other morning. Weird!

3.Again, I’m just trying to make something out of nothing because I want so desperately for God to reveal our destination to us.

So, again, I dismissed the notion that this was possibly an answer to our earnest prayers and didn’t even mention it to Shmoopy.

Then, this afternoon, as we were on a hot bus taking a tour of house churches in San Antonio, I received the following message from my dear friend Kyle (who happens to be at the Q conference in Chicago with his wife this week):

“If you all are interested in being missionaries to a hot zone, research Rio de Janeiro. Home of the 2016 Olympics.  One of the most beautiful cities in the world and also one of the most dangerous.  And they need Jesus in a big way!”

Shmoopy and I were talking, I can’t remember who was in mid-sentence, but whomever it was stopped.  He could see the utter shock on my face and my eyes welling with tears, so he asked me what was wrong.  I tried my best to explain all of the above to him through my tears and hyperventilation.  It was as if God were telling met o “WAKE UP!  I KEEP TELLING YOU WHERE TO GO AND YOU KEEP ASKING AGAIN!!!  GO TO BRAZIL!”

I’m not sure what all this means, but I do know that Shmoopy and I will be fervently researching Rio de Janeiro while continuing to pray for the Holy Spirit’s continued leading.  Man, God is always so faithful to us, and I don’t just mean Shmoopy and I.  He’s faithful to all of us.  And what an adventure it is to finally trust Him with EVERYTHING!

Me: So what’s hot?

Boss: A volcano.

Bubba: Yeah!  It’s real hot!  It will melt you!

Me: Yep, that’s right!

Me: So what’s cold?

Boss: Water.

Me: Well, water can be hot or cold.

Boss: It’s cold when it comes out of the sink.

Me: Hot water can come out of the sink, too.  You know what is ALWAYS cold? Ice.

Boss: Not if it melts.

Me: If it melts, it’s no longer ice.

Boss: True.

Me: So what else is hot?

Boss: YOU!

I promise you that’s how it happened!  That kids cracks me up!

Note: In case you’re wondering, Bubba and I are in 1 Chronicles and Sissy and I are in Judges!

Ingredients:

1/2 diced yellow onion

3 cloves garlic, diced

4 or 5 large carrots, peeled & sliced

1 large yellow squash, cubed

1 medium zucchini, cubed

1 pound extra-lean ground turkey

1 bag BirdsEye Steamfresh peas, steamed in microwave

3 small cans of tomato sauce

1 can low-sodium vegetable stock

1 can low-sodium chicken stock

1 box of penne pasta (whole-wheat if you’re family will eat it)

Salt

Pepper

Cumin

Oregano

Rosemary

Paprika

Celery Seeds

Garlic Salt

Instructions:

Brown the turkey with all of the listed herbs and spices.  I didn’t list an amount for each of them because I just added what I felt like adding…that’s how I roll!  Once the turkey is browned, remove it from the pot and saute the onions, garlic and carrots until they are caramelized.  Next, add the squash and zucchini and let them caramelize.  Next, add the remaining ingredients including the turkey and excluding the peas and pasta and let it simmer for 20 minutes.  Once it’s done simmering, add the peas and pasta and voila…dinner served.  We sprinkled some 2% shredded mozzarella on ours!  Also, I served ours with a yummy french loaf of bread!

My kids ate it up and asked for seconds, veggies and all!  For those wanting some spice, I added Tabasco to mine!  Yummmm!!!  And there were enough leftovers to freeze for later because it makes a huge pot!

Disclaimer: If you’re Bobby Flay or Melissa d’Arabian from the Food Network, please don’t criticize my skills!  I cook to taste and my family loves it!

I have nothing to be depressed about and yet I have been for months now.  Frankly, it pisses me off.  I’ve felt like running away for many months now.  (Before you get worried, please know that I would NEVER actually allow myself to do that.  It’s just been an urge.)  I haven’t wanted to be around people.  I just want to stay in bed for days and do nothing.  I’ve come to a point where I just feel like a failure, like I can’t keep up.  I’ve been overwhelmed, drained…depressed.

This past Sunday, I finally shared this with my church and they gathered round me and prayed.  And they’ve been praying all week; I can tell.  I can tell because I feel different this week.  I haven’t had a stress headache yet this week, and that’s huge!  More importantly, I feel more positive.  I feel like maybe I’ve just been putting too much pressure on myself to do everything.  Maybe God doesn’t expect me to do it all.  Normally, that would scare me.  But Boss’s teacher (we’ll call her Ms. N) said something to me this week (that I feel God prompted her to say because He knew I needed to hear it) that helped me tremendously.

I was speaking with Ms. N about a form that Shmoopy and I had filled out regarding Boss’s testing for the Gifted & Talented program, and she shared with me that she had found the stories about Boss funny and inspiring.  She said that she told her boyfriend that she wants to do some of the things with her kids that Shmoopy and I have done with our kids.  She said she told him that Boss’s mom is a “Godly woman that [she] looks up to as a role model.”  She said they’ve found a church they are comfortable in and she wants to grow closer to God.

Whew!  That brings me to tears all over again.  You can’t comprehend how badly I needed to hear someone say that!  And not one of my friends or family-members, but someone outside of my circle who has no obligation whatsoever to offer such kind words.  It made me see that focusing every ounce of my time and energy on my kids is not taking away from my time that I should be sharing the gospel with others.  Right now, in this stage of my life, my kids are exactly where I should be investing my time and energy.  And I don’t have to feel guilty that I’m not out on the streets finding people who need Jesus to minister to them because the time and energy that I invest in my children is making an impact on more than just their 3 very special little lives.  It’s impacting their teachers, counselors, principals, etc…

Just imagine all of the teachers, the people, that my investment in my children will touch in some way over the next 17 years until Sissy graduates from high school.  Boss alone just in his first year of school has 6 teachers including the specials (P.E., music and art).  Not to mention the interaction I have with other teachers through being his room mom and my involvement with PTA.

So, while I’m not completely out of the woods, yet,  I see hope.  Church family, please keep praying…it’s working.  Shmoopy, keep supporting me and loving me; I appreciate you more than I could ever express.  Parents & friends, you’re prayers would be appreciated, too.  If you’re reading this and I’ve never met you, please know that God does answer prayers.  He does care about your state of mind and heart.  He will come through for you in sweet, unimaginable ways.

My Mother’s Day was so nice and restful…for the most part.  First, my mom, God bless her, asked if the boys could come spend the night with her Saturday night and go to church with her this morning.  I jumped on that and said, “Yes, please”, (after checking with Shmoopy to make sure it wouldn’t ruin any surprise for them to do so).

So this morning was much quieter than usual, though it started just as early as ever since we still had Sissy with us and she must be nursed at 7am!  Once we were all ready for church, Shmoopy told me he was taking me to breakfast before church wherever I wanted to go.  Now, I know this is weird, but I chose McDonald’s.  I’m allergic to eggs and, therefore, not big on breakfast foods anyway.  But McDonald’s has a steak and cheese bagel that I find yummy and their Mocha Lattes are delicious!  Say what you want, but that’s what I wanted and I got it!

Then we went to church, which is a house church.  Today was special in that the men, mostly Kyle (Thanks, Kyle, it was delish!), made the lunch and even cleaned up afterwards.  It was so nice.  I didn’t have to tend to the boys and beg them to eat.  I just got to sit back and relax!  Thanks, guys!

Also, my very sweet Shmoopy bought a single long-stemmed rose for all of the moms in our church, including me, of course!  He’s yummy, too!

Then, when the boys finally came home from Grammy’s house this afternoon, we went to Chili’s (again, my choice) for dinner.  This was preceded by the one not so sweet time of the day when Boss cried and cried for 15 minutes because his Daddy made him take his long-sleeved shirt and jeans off to change into something cooler.  My mother must’ve kept them up until midnight last night!

Anyway, somehow, Shmoopy was able to erase that poor attitude so much so that dinner was actually quite pleasant.  They even took turns saying what they loved about me.

Shmoopy said he loves how well I take care of the kids.

Boss said he loves when I run to him when he’s hurt and make it better.

Bubba said he just loves me!

Sissy couldn’t voice it, but I know she was thinking, “I’m thankful for her milk!”  (Hey, I know reality!)

All in all, it was a very peaceful, sweet day!  I’m thankful to be so beyond blessed!

To top it off, we had two couples tell us today that they’re ready to put deposits down on our rental house.  So now we have a decision to make.  God is so good and faithful to ALWAYS take care of us!

Happy Mother’s Day, indeed!

“Yet again there was war at Gath, where there was a man of great stature, with twenty-four fingers and toes, six on each hand and six on each foot; and he also was born to the giant.  So when he defied Israel, Jonathan the son of Shimea, David’s brother, killed him.”

Boss interjected, “Is that true?”

I said, “Yes, it is,” and continued to read the one remaining verse in the chapter.  Then Boss said, “Whoa! God made him REAL special!”  I nodded in agreement, and he continued, “He was real HANDY!”

Ha!  Oh, man!  I laughed for a long time after that!  That kid can really crack me up sometimes!

Ahhh!  When Shmoopy told me that, my heart melted.  What a sweet thing to say!  I asked him if he asked what he meant.  You know, did he want to keep me from going to Heaven, or did he just want to catch a ride with me.  But Shmoopy being the man that he is just left it at that and had not inquired further.

So I took it upon myself yesterday to ask Bubba why he was going to grab my foot when I go to Heaven.  He said, “Well, you’re gonna blow up.”

Huh?

I said, “I’m gonna blow up?”

He said, “You’re gonna blow up to Heaven.”

I said, “Oh, like float up in the sky?”

He said, “Yea.  Because God loves you!”

Man, isn’t that THE SWEETEST THING YOU’VE EVER HEARD IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!!!!  I thought so.  What a kid.  It’s times like that that make up for the moments when he’s screaming how mad he is at me.

Last night, we attended a Habitat for Humanity meeting at the church that runs the preschool he attends, and we happened to run into Spike and his mom.  I asked why he wasn’t going to school there anymore, and she explained that he was kicked out because he got a mohawk.  This confused me because I remember seeing Spike on the first day of school, and he had a mohawk then.  So I asked her about it, and she said that he had indeed had a mohawk at the beginning of school.  She explained her frustration with the decision and the school’s lack of understanding with her 5 year old’s haircut.  There had been meetings and everything.

Today, I emailed the director of the preschool to let her know that I was frustrated with the decision.  I mean, I read the rules and dress codes and nothing was ever mentioned about haircuts!  Furthermore, what kind of message does this send to Spike and Boss and their school friends?  That Spike has done something wrong, that he’s not good enough, that somehow, God forbid, he’s not worthy to learn in God’s house?  I told the director that my prayer is that this decision would be reconsidered because I’m quite certain that Jesus does not care what kind of hairdo any child has.  I hope that my concern doesn’t fall on deaf ears.  My husband said that some parent probably complained about his hair and that’s why he was expelled.  If so, maybe my complaint about his expulsion for such an ignorant reason will be weighed in as well.

Do you think a child’s haircut should matter?  Or do you agree with me that we should let them learn to express their true selves now so they won’t be so stifled when they reach adulthood?

Below is a conversation I just had a few minutes ago with Bubba while we were painting.  I love this stuff and think it’s adorable.  However, it’s also why I crave adult interaction the way a heroine addict craves heroine!  Not the best analogy I know, but my brain cells have been killed by motherhood.

Bubba: I’m making an elephant.  And I’m making a little boat.  It’s a little one.

Me: Is the elephant in the boat?

Bubba: Yea.

Me: Is the boat sinking because the elephant’s too big for it?

Bubba: No.  It’s not a boat.

Me: Oh.  What is it, then?

Bubba: IT’S A GIRAFFE!!!!